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My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward: A Memoir, by Mark Lukach
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Review
“Honest and heartfelt, My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward tells the difficult story of a marriage tested by mental illness, and reminds us that true love is never easy.” (Kyle Boelte, author of The Beautiful Unseen)“Lukach’s rare combination of tenderness and ruthlessness is what makes this book more interesting than your typical illness narrative.” (New York Times Book Review)“An honest and rewarding memoir of a couple’s compassion and love for each other.” (Kirkus Reviews)“This gorgeous memoir gives readers a raw and unvarnished account of what it’s like to live with and love someone with a severe mental illness. There are moments of gut-wrenching sadness—but, ultimately, the story is hopeful, even triumphant. This book basically tore out my heart and then lovingly sewed it back in place.” (Susannah Cahalan, bestselling author of Brain on Fire)“My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward is a compelling memoir and a heartrending tale of love, madness, and redemption. Like a long-distance trail runner, Mark Lukach embarks on a harrowing journey deep into the woods of psychosis and through the dark twists and turns of his wife’s illness and gradual recovery. But his loyalty to her never wavers, and his story is a testament to the healing power of love and endurance.” (Stuart H. Coleman, author of Eddie Would Go)“Lukach lyrically transforms our understanding of love, mental illness, patience, and devotion in this stunning memoir. With moving and touching prose, My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward describes what it’s like to have the picture of your life smashed in an instant and subsequently reassembled miraculously.” (Mayim Bialik, PhD, neuroscientist, actress, and New York Times bestselling author)“The deeply passionate account of the couple’s journey through Giulia’s psychotic break and recovery…through it all Lukach explores the fragility of the human mind alongside the resilience of true love and partnership.” (Bustle)
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From the Back Cover
Mark and Giulia’s life together began as a fairy-tale romance. They fell in love at eighteen, got married at twenty-four, and started their dream life in San Francisco soon after. But when Giulia was twenty-seven, she suffered a terrifying and unexpected psychotic break that landed her in the psych ward for nearly a month. One day she was vibrant and well-adjusted; the next, she was delusional and suicidal, convinced that her loved ones were not safe.Eventually, Giulia fully recovered and the couple had a son. Soon after Jonas was born, Giulia had another breakdown, and then a third a few years after that. Pushed to the edge of the abyss, everything the couple had once taken for granted was upended.An exploration of the fragility of the mind and the tenacity of the human spirit, My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward is, above all, a love story that raises profound questions: How do we care for the people most important to us? What and whom do we live for? Breathtaking in its candor, radiant with compassion, and written with dazzling lyricism, Lukach’s intensely personal odyssey through the harrowing years of his wife’s mental illness is anchored by an abiding devotion to family that will affirm readers’ faith in the power of love.
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Product details
Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Harper Wave; Reprint edition (May 1, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780062422941
ISBN-13: 978-0062422941
ASIN: 0062422944
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
192 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#18,627 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
excerpted from my full review:I'm torn over this book. On one hand, any new resource is good. We have a dire need for more views on mental illness, and this writer/husband needed an outlet. It's one of very few books dedicated solely to the loved ones of those living with mental illness. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with illness of a loved one. Lukach has the ability to focus solely on his experience because he doesn't have to deal with the extraneous issues that quickly take over in 99.9% of US cases.Three episodes/hospitalizations in the first five years of being diagnosed with a severe mental illness is not unusual, and the awful trial and error nature of psychopharmacology gets a little sunlight here. This book does best early on, when he's furious, scared and confused at the sometimes arbitrary, often misleading and always rigid rules of psychiatric care. I highlighted huge sections of these early encounters with hospitals and staff because despite the many who feel similarly, in my decades in the field, very little has changed beyond some nicer wording. So I cheered him for this.My discomfort with the book came after that. By the end it seems like he thinks he's got it all worked out. Five years into severe psychiatric illness is a very short time. I don't even know that his lovely wife actually qualifies as severely mentally ill. She is able to hold down a job between her three episodes and *has* a between period. Of course it feels painstaking to all involved, but cancer of any stage feels painstaking, yet there are still stages. Then there's the ability this family has to quit jobs, pay out of pocket - not a single word about most people's biggest nightmare: insurance companies stopping their loved ones from getting the care they need. He need not tell anyone else's story, but his story is mild compared to most.Everyone has a right to tell their story, but this one felt a bit pat in the latter parts, like he has learned what the right things to say are, and he's saying them, but if I had this guy on my therapy couch, I'd be asking some tough questions about his pretty words. He got his feelings out, and that's what I got from this book: his feelings. It's a very one-sided, tiny slice of the beginning of his family's mental health journey. I wish them well, but I can't say I'd recommend this book to many people who want to learn anything more than one lucky family's story.
As a mom with bipolar disorder on the lookout for extraordinary mental health books, I was intrigued by the eye-catching title and cover of this book. I had never seen or read anything quite like this memoir before, and I couldn't wait to read it! It's a remarkable resource for partners who are going through hell while their loved ones are hospitalized for perinatal mental illness. It's also an account that will give those with the mental illness hope that their relationship can make it through a mental health crisis."My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward" is a gripping, honest, and profoundly inspiring account of a couple affected by postpartum psychosis and bipolar disorder. It's a beautiful, romantic and funny love story, which balances out the unsettling aspects of the Lukach family's experiences.So many marriages cease due to the ravages of mental illness. It was refreshing to read a book in which a husband and wife stayed together through sickness, not for convenience's sake, but because they authentically loved each other.The fact that Mark and Giulia Lukach weathered Giulia's health crisis and ultimately helped others is extraordinary and a cause for celebration! At the end of the day, this is a life-affirming book imbued with hope. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who cares about someone living with any type of mental illness.Dyane HarwoodMoms with Mood Disorders Support Group Facilitator, andFounder, Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA), Santa Cruz County, CA Chapter
When I started this story I thought it was going to be about Guilia and her experience going through psychotic breaks and visits to the psych ward. This is more of a memoir of her husband, Mark’s, experience as her dedicated caretaker.Mark seemed to have written this book from his heart and owned up to honest frustrations and emotions that caretakers deal with. Through it all, his love for Guilia is evident. Some of the frustrations were things I experienced myself as a mom – being sick as a dog and crawling on the floor to take care of your kid, the enormous guilt of your kid being the first daycare kid to arrive AND being the last daycare kid to leave… so many examples were things that were “normal†parenting things to me. But the difference for Mark is the reason behind it all is so completely devastating. He struggles to go it alone while also worrying about Guilia’s recovery (will she recover?) and what happens after. I do wish that Mark would have shared more about the fact that he was also receiving psychiatric/therapy care, because its important to recognize there is no shame in reaching out for objective, non-partial help. So much of this book is a testament to regular people making it through devastating mental health issues. I would recommend this book to someone who’s dealing with being a caretaker as a comforting message of “you are not aloneâ€, “someone else has felt similar fears, frustrations, anger and sadnessâ€.This story is a 5 star read because the writing is great, fluent, strong. The story is so personal yet shared with dignity. And because I’m rooting for Guilia’s healthy mental state so that this lovely little family can thrive without the fear of when the next time bomb will go off. I’m really rooting for them.
This book really touched my heart. He stuck by his wife and loved her unconditionally​. Thank you Mark for sharing your story and making people aware that mental illness isn't something you can get over,it is a disease that you have to confront the rest of your life.
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